How to maximize your discontent

The Wisdom of Professor Angst

How to maximize your discontent. Take from Darshan Magazine Volume #40

Step One: Look for Faults

• Blame others for your problems.
• When you find a fault, however small, point it out.
• Judge new acquaintances as soon as possible and vigorously repress any feelings of appreciation for others.

Step Two: View Yourself as Unworthy

• Repeat: "I am insecure." "I am inferior." "I cant do it."
• Decide ahead of time that things won't work out.

Step Three: Ignore Your Inner Self

• Watch TV a lot and read the gossip columns.
• Eat as much as possible.
• Be constantly concerned about what others think of you.
• Keep an outward focus.

Step Four: Avoid the Present

• Dwell obsessively on times in the past when you were unhappy.
• Worry about the future.
• With effort, you can completely avoid the here and now.

Step Five: Cultivate Attachments and Aversions

• Close your eyes, picture everything you own, and repeat silently, "Its mine!".
• Never share with others.
• Ponder your likes and dislikes ceaselessly.

Step Six: Want What You Don't Have

• Try to satisfy all your desires--this is a tricky one--it may take lifetimes but keep at it!
• Worry constantly that there’s not enough--not enough food, not enough attention, not enough love.

Step Seven: Identify with Your Limitations

• The Professor recommends repeating: "My mind is me. My body is me. The body will go and then where will I be?"
• Identify with your job, with your looks, and with your successes and failures. Be fully absorbed in the drama of your personality. Never step back and watch what is happening.

Follow these age-old habits, and Professor Angst guarantees that you will not only maximize your own discontent, you will also contribute to the misery of those who have the misfortune of being around you!